I’ve been there. Narcissistic coworkers can turn your work life upside down in unexpected ways.
These workplace vampires can transform your 9-to-5 into a psychological battlefield, leaving you drained and frustrated. Instead of focusing on your work, you find yourself constantly managing their emotional chaos. It’s exhausting, infuriating, and deeply stressful.
However, if you can identify the key traits of a narcissist, you can start to shield yourself and keep your professional life on track. The goal is to learn the warning signs before they pull you into their web of manipulation.
That’s where this guide comes in. We’ll dive deep into the 12 traits of a narcissist coworker, giving you the tools to recognize them and maintain control over your work life.
1. Stealing Credit for Colleagues’ Work
Narcissistic coworkers think too highly of themselves and crave constant admiration. This drives them to take credit for work they didn’t do.
They manipulate situations, downplay your contributions, and claim ownership of your work in meetings or emails. For example, they might exaggerate their role in group projects to make themselves seem indispensable. During presentations, they highlight their input while ignoring or minimizing your efforts.
Furthermore, they may praise you privately but fail to acknowledge your work in front of others, especially superiors.
This behavior hurts morale and creates a toxic work environment. If it begins to impact your mental health or career, consider these options:
- Claim your work: When sharing work with others, clearly state your contributions. This helps establish your ownership right from the start.
- Speak up early: Having a calm, proactive conversation about credit can resolve the issue before it escalates.
- HR Involvement: Report the behavior to HR if it violates company policies or creates a hostile environment.
- Seeking a Transfer: If things don’t improve, consider moving to another team, department, or company.
Stay proactive and assertive. Protect your work, and don’t let a narcissistic coworker undermine your value.
2. Spying and Gathering Information
A narcissistic coworker spies and gathers information and does so to gain an advantage, manipulate situations, or maintain control over others.
They may eavesdrop on conversations, ask intrusive questions, or exploit casual interactions to collect details about colleagues’ work, personal lives, or vulnerabilities.
This behavior arises from their need to feel superior and stay ahead in office dynamics, using the information to undermine others, fuel gossip, or position themselves favorably with superiors. Such actions can create a climate of mistrust and discomfort in the workplace.
So, be mindful of what you share, maintain professional boundaries, and document any inappropriate behavior to protect yourself.
3. Being Overly Secretive or Withholding Information
A narcissistic coworker withholds information or stays secretive to maintain control, manipulate outcomes, or create dependency among colleagues.
They may hoard critical details, resources, or insights, only sharing them selectively to serve their agenda or to make others appear less competent. This behavior can hinder team collaboration, delay progress, and create unnecessary obstacles, as others are left scrambling to fill in the gaps.
To counteract this:
- Document requests for information
- Politely redirect conversations to include others
- Escalate the issue to management if their behavior consistently disrupts workflow
Establishing clear expectations for transparency and collaboration can help lessen the negative impact of their actions.
4. Obsession with Fantasies of Success and Power
A narcissistic coworker is consumed by fantasies of success and power, believing they are entitled to recognition without putting in the necessary effort. This obsession with self-importance makes them difficult to work with, as they prioritize their image and reputation over the team’s goals. It creates a lack of respect, poor communication, and a toxic environment, making collaboration and productivity harder.
They’re always bragging about their achievements, exaggerating their skills, or obsessing over their appearance to get attention and admiration. This mindset leads them to make promises they can’t keep, take on more than they can handle, or care more about how they’re seen than actual results.
However, their needs to be seen as better than everyone else creates tension and divides coworkers, making the atmosphere more competitive and unhealthy.
To handle it:
- Focus on real results, not their self-promotion
- Set clear boundaries to protect your time and energy
- Don’t feed their constant need for validation or compliments
By keeping your focus on what matters and maintaining boundaries, you’ll be able to handle the situation more effectively.
5. Building a Relationship with the Superiors for Personal Gain
A narcissistic coworker builds a relationship with the boss and the managers with calculated intent. They use charm, flattery, or manipulation to ingratiate themselves.
They may seek one-on-one time with the boss, take credit for team successes, or subtly undermine colleagues to position themselves as the most valuable or loyal employee.
Their goal is to gain favor, secure promotions, or gain influence, at the expense of others.
This behavior can create a sense of unfairness and resentment within the team, undermining merit-based recognition and collaboration.
6. Manipulating Others to Do Their Work
A narcissistic coworker manipulates others into doing their work. They use charm, guilt, or subtle coercion to shift their responsibilities onto colleagues.
They may also exploit others’ willingness to help, play on sympathies, or create a sense of obligation to avoid doing their fair share.
This behavior allows them to take credit for the work while avoiding accountability, leaving others feeling used and undervalued. Over time, this can lead to resentment, burnout, and a toxic work environment.
To protect yourself, document tasks and responsibilities and politely decline unreasonable requests.
7. Undermining Colleagues Behind Their Backs
A narcissistic coworker undermines colleagues behind their backs. They engage in gossip, spread misinformation, or subtly discredit others to elevate themselves and boost their image.
They might criticize someone’s work, question their abilities, or even take credit for others’ ideas in private conversations with managers or peers. They do this to feel superior and maintain control, at the cost of team trust and cohesion.
As a result, the targeted colleagues may see their reputations damaged and their contributions overlooked, leading to frustration and creating a toxic work environment.
To combat this, it’s important to maintain professionalism, document your achievements, and build strong, transparent relationships with your team and supervisors, ensuring your work is recognized and protected.
8. Playing Others Against Each Other
A narcissistic coworker thrives on creating division and conflict to maintain control and boost their status. They may spread rumors, selectively withhold information, or manipulate situations to turn colleagues against each other, fueling mistrust and competition.
By sowing discord, they position themselves as the essential mediator or the only one capable of “fixing” the problems they’ve helped create. This tactic not only undermines teamwork but also diverts attention from their flaws or manipulative behavior.
To counteract this, prioritize open communication, verify information before reacting, and focus on building strong, trusting relationships with your colleagues.
9. Playing the Victim
A narcissistic coworker twists situations to portray themselves as unfairly treated or misunderstood, even when it is their fault. They might exaggerate minor issues, shift blame onto others, or use emotional manipulation to gain sympathy and avoid accountability.
Their goal is to deflect criticism, gain support, and divert attention away from their problematic behavior. As a result, this tactic can frustrate colleagues and create a toxic environment where real concerns are dismissed or overlooked.
To handle this, stay objective, document interactions, and avoid getting caught up in their emotional narratives.
10. Excessive Competitiveness and Sabotaging Others’ Success
A narcissistic coworker is excessively competitive and constantly undermines others’ success in order to stay on top, fearing being outshined. They might withhold important information, spread doubts about others’ skills, or take credit for their colleagues’ achievements.
Their goal is to diminish others while elevating themselves, harming teamwork, trust, and morale.
To protect yourself from this toxic behavior, try these strategies:
- Build supportive relationships to create a trusted network.
- Keep records of your contributions to ensure proper recognition.
- Share your projects and goals to encourage team ownership.
This way, you can guard against sabotage and help foster a more positive and collaborative work atmosphere.
11. Reacting Aggressively to Being Challenged
A narcissistic coworker responds with defensiveness, hostility, or even retaliation when their ideas, actions, or authority are questioned.
This reaction comes from their fragile self-esteem and strong need for approval, making any form of criticism or disagreement feel like a personal attack.
They may lash out verbally, belittle others, or use passive-aggressive tactics to reassert control and silence opposition. This behavior can create a culture of fear, discouraging open communication and teamwork.
To handle such situations, stay calm and professional, focus on facts instead of emotions, and avoid getting into power struggles.
12. Unwillingness to Help Others
A narcissistic coworker puts their interests and success above the well-being or success of the team. They may withhold knowledge, avoid collaborating on projects, or dismiss requests for help, even when offering assistance would cost them little.
This behavior comes from their self-centered mindset and desire to maintain a competitive edge, leaving colleagues to struggle unnecessarily. As a result, their lack of support can breed resentment, hinder team unity, and create a fragmented work environment.
To address this, focus on building strong relationships with team members who value collaboration and document instances where their refusal to help negatively impacts productivity.
Conclusion
The greatest trick the narcissist coworker ever pulled was convincing you they were a team player. But in reality, they’re just out for control, manipulation, and personal gain.
They might steal credit, play the victim, or refuse to help, all of which create a toxic work environment. As highlighted in the 12 traits of a narcissist coworker, these behaviors can lead to significant problems in the workplace. It messes with teamwork, morale, and productivity.
To deal with it, here are a few things to try:
- Set clear boundaries
- Keep track of your contributions
- Stay professional
- Build strong relationships with colleagues who have your back
- Be open and honest with your supervisors
If things get out of hand, don’t hesitate to escalate the issue to HR or management. It’s all about making sure the workplace stays fair and respectful.
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