Sometimes, the people closest to us wear the most convincing masks. Narcissistic friends, for example, might seem endlessly supportive, yet in reality, they are quietly pursuing their selfish goals.
What makes it even trickier is that their behavior doesn’t always scream “narcissism” from the start. They might be the life of the party, quick with a compliment or a helping hand.
But over time, you start to notice subtle red flags. They might get obsessed with validation or use you for their gain. It’s tough to realize these traits, especially when they’re so good at hiding their true selves.
In this exploration, we’ll discuss 12 traits of a narcissist friend, helping you better understand the dynamics at play in these complex relationships.
1. Using You for Personal Gain
A narcissistic friend uses you for personal gain. They prioritize their needs, manipulating situations to benefit themselves, while disregarding your feelings.
They exploit your kindness, resources, or connections under the guise of friendship but offer little in return.
This friend only reaches out when they require something—emotional support, financial help, or social leverage—but disappears when you need them. They may gaslight or guilt-trip you to maintain control, making you feel obligated to comply.
Over time, this one-sided dynamic leaves you drained and unappreciated. The relationship is built on exploitation, not mutual respect.
2. Backstabbing and Betrayal
Backstabbing and betrayal by a narcissistic friend can be incredibly painful.
They may pretend to be loyal while secretly undermining you for their gain. This could involve spreading rumors, stealing opportunities, or revealing your private information to others.
Narcissists thrive on control and manipulation, so betraying you serves to elevate their status or maintain power over you.
What makes this especially hurtful is the calculated nature of their actions—they know exactly how to manipulate your emotions to keep you hooked in the relationship, even as they exploit or sabotage you.
3. Deliberately Choosing People Who Will Betray You
Betrayal by a narcissistic friend can be deeply painful, as they exploit your trust while concealing their true intentions. Here’s how they typically operate:
- False loyalty: They act supportive but secretly work against you.
- Sabotage: They spread rumors, steal opportunities, or expose your secrets.
- Control tactics: They betray you to maintain power or elevate themselves.
What makes this especially hurtful is the calculated nature of their actions—they know exactly how to manipulate your emotions to keep you attached, even as they harm you.
4. Stealing Your Loved Ones
A narcissistic friend may try to steal your loved ones to boost their ego. They might charm your friends, partner, or family, slowly turning them against you or making you feel excluded.
They thrive on creating divisions, spreading subtle lies, or twisting situations to make themselves look better.
Their goal is to isolate you while securing loyalty from those around you. This manipulation can leave you feeling abandoned and betrayed.
A true friend strengthens your connections, not sabotages them.
5. Exploiting Your Vulnerabilities
A narcissistic friend exploits your vulnerabilities to maintain control and feed their ego. They may pretend to be supportive, only to use your fears, insecurities, or past traumas against you.
When you open up, they gather information to use later—whether to guilt-trip you, control your decisions, or embarrass you in front of others.
This emotional manipulation keeps you in a weakened state, making it easier for them to take advantage.
Your Attractive Heading
- Turning People Against You
A narcissistic friend may turn people against you to isolate and control you. They spread lies, twist the truth, and manipulate others into doubting you.
Their goal is to damage your reputation while making themselves look better.
They play the victim, subtly planting seeds of doubt in others’ minds. Over time, they create tension, making you seem like the problem. This can leave you feeling confused, betrayed, and alone.
7. Using Your Secrets Against You
A narcissistic friend may use your secrets against you to maintain power and control.
They encourage you to open up, pretending to be trustworthy, only to later weaponize your vulnerabilities.
They might share your private information to embarrass you, manipulate you, or gain sympathy for themselves. If you confront them, they may gaslight you, denying their actions or blaming you for trusting them.
Be cautious about what you share and set boundaries to protect yourself from manipulation. Trust should be earned, not exploited.
8. Publicly Shaming You
A narcissistic friend may publicly shame you to assert dominance and feed their ego. They disguise insults as jokes, mock your flaws, or expose personal information to embarrass you.
Their goal is to make themselves look superior while making you feel small.
If you react, they may dismiss your feelings, saying you “can’t take a joke.” This gaslighting keeps you doubting yourself and tolerating their behaviors.
9. Pretending to Be Your Savior
A narcissistic friend may pretend to be your savior to gain control over you. They offer help when you’re vulnerable, making you feel dependent on them.
This “rescue” act boosts their ego and makes you feel obligated to them.
They exaggerate their efforts, turning small favors into big achievements and expecting constant praise. They may also use this power dynamic to manipulate you, making you feel like you owe them for their “selfless” support.
A genuine friend supports you without expecting anything in return or making you feel indebted.
10. Turning Your Wins Into Their Wins
A narcissistic friend may turn your wins into their own to feed their ego.
When you succeed, they’ll try to steal the spotlight, downplay your achievements, or claim they played a bigger role in your success.
They might shift the focus to themselves, using your accomplishments as a way to boost their image or gain attention. This diminishes your sense of achievement and reinforces their need to stay superior.
Your Attractive Heading
A narcissistic friend may have a “disposable” mindset toward you, viewing the relationship as something to be used when convenient and discarded when no longer beneficial.
They may show little regard for your feelings or needs, only reaching out when they want something.
Once they’ve gained what they want, they may ignore you, act indifferent, or cut off contact altogether, leaving you feeling unimportant.
When they require you again, they’ll return as if nothing has changed.
12. Overstepping Boundaries
A narcissistic friend oversteps boundaries, disregarding your limits to get what they want.
They might invade your personal space, push you to do things you’re uncomfortable with, or demand more of your time and energy than you’re willing to give.
When you try to set limits, they may ignore or dismiss them, making you feel guilty for wanting to protect yourself.
This constant violation of boundaries leaves you feeling drained, disrespected, and powerless.
Conclusion
A narcissistic friend can manipulate, exploit, and betray you for their gain, leaving you feeling drained, unappreciated, and isolated.
They may use tactics like controlling, shaming, and turning others against you, all while masking their true intentions.
Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual care, not on manipulation and exploitation.
Setting firm boundaries and distancing yourself from toxic dynamics is essential for maintaining your sense of self and fostering healthier connections.
